Gender Politics at the Coffee Shop

Vivien Grace
5 min readAug 7, 2019

“You’re about to find out who I am!”

A random encounter with a stranger in a coffee shop led me down an emotional rabbit hole.

I am 36 and single, never married and no kids. On my better days, I am proud to describe myself as an entrepreneur, yogi, world traveler, good friend, supportive family member and overall decent human being.

While waiting eagerly in line to pick up a cold brew coffee and locally sourced croissant at my favorite hipster coffee shop, an older man in front of me struck up a conversation.

Apropos of nothing, he offered me a “buy 10 get 1 free” coffee card which I could have just as easily obtained at the register.

Then, the mansplaining began. Dictionary.com defines mansplaining as: the explanation of something by a man, typically to a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing.

“When I was your age, this is how I got ahead,” he began, “I saved money and was careful and that is how I got where I am today.” Where he was today, aside from in line for organic cruellers, was not clear but the subtext read that I should be impressed.

I grew increasingly impatient, pasting on my most patient, Waspy, well-mannered smile while he droned on. The seemingly ordinary gentleman, somewhere in his mid-to late…

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Vivien Grace

Solo Female Traveler & Writer Wellness Junkie | Allergy Queen 🌎🛍️✈️ 5-Star taste on a 2-Star Budget.